I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
