hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he high fived his dick after we had sex
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
