Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
