My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
