Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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