i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
