why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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