Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
