i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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