Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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