DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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