She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Randomize
