so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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