I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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