i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
