a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
