After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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