I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
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Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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