he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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