just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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