Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
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Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed