you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
