I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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