he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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