A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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