I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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