just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
