I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
