Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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