They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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