youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I love you. Go after that dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
