i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sext me about skeletons
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
