Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize