Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
