Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
