Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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