remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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