In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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