I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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