My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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