I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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