She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
