I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize