i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
