Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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