Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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