evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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