she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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