I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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