Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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