It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
