bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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