I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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