Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
