Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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