i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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