just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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