I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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