Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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