I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
