She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
