Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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