do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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