I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
